Casting Stones

Christ has rightly said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

As I write this, I understand both sides of the protests/riots in Baltimore would say "It was them, they cast the first stone." I also see the conflicted insides of me asking for justice and truth, wondering which side did cast the first stone.

Who is justified? Who is in the right? But I am struck by the fact that Christ did not say this statement to provide us with a tool to understanding the cause of injustice. He said this so we would look inward and examine our sin.

So I look inward and I know that, as a mixed race individual, I have a personal investment on both sides of the conflict yet find myself belonging to neither. Am I a White with tan skin? Am I Hispanic but sound White? Which side of my heritage am I a traitor to? Do I even belong to either? Would either side even have me?

It is times like this that I feel I am being told I need to choose, and that I am a coward if I don't.

I am not complaining though, and what is going on is more real than a search for identity. But if I have learned anything worth sharing from my own internal struggle it is that thinking of these matters in terms of sides and who is right makes us blind to our own injustices and inhumanities. We are quick to point the finger and (accurately) say "That is cruel", but we do not take the step that Christ has asked us to take, look inward, and say "I am cruel".

Any man who has not looked inward and said "I am cruel" is either self-deceived, a liar, or simply not introspected long enough.

But I know the response to this because I see the response in myself: "I may be cruel, but can't you see how they have been more cruel? Justice must be done!" And justice should be done. We are responsible for our own actions. But this justice looks different from the perspective of one who knows he is a sinner being asked to judge a fellow sinner.

Because really, how does anyone being more cruel than we are in any way justify our own cruelty.

"But you see them? They are not willing to answer for their crimes. They would place all the blame on us. We need to stand up for ourselves!" Absolutely, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Those who abuse power should be held accountable, and cruelty should not be answered with cruelty. However, I say this knowing with full knowledge that I have sinned on both accounts and deserve justice too, and it is only by Christ's mercy that I can be redeemed.

Because once I have sinned, God has given me the mercy to atone for it.

So instead of asking which side I am on, I find myself asking these questions instead. How might I have stopped this? How, in my own life, have I contributed to the growth of cruelty and the abuse of power? How can this be healed, first in myself and second in my community?

 Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Edit: I recognize that  this blog itself might be my own attempt at throwing a stone, to lash out at both sides for demanding me to make a choice. I too am a sinner, and I can only apologize for my own self-righteousness and that, instead, we all look to the life of Christ.